Memories of Maestro Don Howard Lawler

Aubrey Marcus

Austin, Texas, USA

Don Howard, maestro, hermano, and friend, transitioned from his body this morning. He said he hoped he would pass during the day of a Huachuma Mesada, the 3,500-year-old tradition of serving medicine that he resurrected through 50 years of service. Today his daughter Selva is holding his place at the head of the Mesa, and the legacy of healing continues at SpiritQuest Sanctuary.

If you wanted to meet a man of greater dignity, you would find none.

If you wanted to meet a man of greater wisdom and courage, you would find none.

If you wanted to meet a warrior more dedicated to the good of all, para el bien de todos, you would find none.

The last visit I had with Don Howard, I was riding behind him on a boat and I started to weep, thinking about his eventual death. He came to me in vision, and he said “Where do you think I’m going brother?” He had a twinkle in his eye and a wry smile. I started to chuckle, because of course he wasn’t going anywhere. He’d always be with us, in our hearts, our deeds and in his True form — unborn and undying.

I haven’t always been the best at remembering and practicing everything he taught me. But as he once told me, the warrior's heart beats as one heart. So now mine will beat a little stronger, knowing that the world lost one of the greatest today.

I love you always Maestro, hermano. Thank you for everything. I won’t forget

Erick Godsey

Austin, Texas, USA


Early this morning, a man who changed my life passed away.

Last year I went to SpiritQuest Sanctuary to dance with Huachuma, and the single most transformative moment of that week was Don Howard looking into my eyes during the second ceremony and slowly pointing to his temple and shaking his head "no," then smoothly bringing his finger to his heart and nodding "yes."

He saw me. I cried. And since that moment I’ve done my best to live his advice. Don Howard, you have ushered an entire generation of healers into the world. Your spirit will serve as Advisor and Court Magician in the psyche of thousands. The example you showed simply in your Being will stay with me my entire life.

I don’t know what happens when we die, but I know people live on in my psyche. I know I’ll have dreams where Don Howard will visit me and teach. I know I’ll have psychedelic experiences where he will guide me. I know my body will eventually begin to give way to entropy and I’ll summon the image of divine masculine grace I witnessed him embody and let it inspire me. The dead are resurrected when we embody what they taught us.

Don Howard, thank you for your being. You’ve gifted a generation of Bodhisattvas-in-training with a guide star. You have shown me the power and grace that is possible when one truly, deeply, divinely embraces their Hero’s Journey. And each of us who have loved you will honor you by doing the same — by radically living the life we know we are called to.

Para El Bien De Todos.


Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I was 47 years old when I met this man in the Amazon jungle, who was the archetype of the wise man. Life must have deduced I was finally ready. He was a man who exuded this grandfather wisdom and I hung on his every word. He was very low key in how he worked, opening the hearts of as many as he could. He did it in a subtle way, always letting you take the next step on and of your own volition. He passed away recently, leaving a great legacy behind and a warmth in the hearts of those that got to know him over the years. When I last saw him I knew he was in failing health, and when I said goodbye to him for the last time I told him the next time I see him I will look towards the heavens and will have no doubt it is him because he will be shining the brightest. Don Howard is a man I want to emulate in my life. I remember at our jungle camp I was assigned a room that was away from the main group and had no access to the limited wifi available. I remarked to him that I was glad I was at that place because I didn’t want be distracted by the internet. He wryly responded in only the way he could, penetrating right into the heart of the matter, “Or you could practice self-discipline.” That lesson still rings true today. On the second to last day of the last retreat I attended with him, his message of love radiated through the whole group. He talked of having courage to live your life that way, head up and heart forward. In fact, one of the guys got up and admitted he’d never told anyone before he loved them but now told us all he loved us. Love is the elixir that will change the world and wake us from the divisiveness that rules our world. He ended his talk by referencing The Beatles and their song "The End" with the quote "And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.” There’s reciprocity at work as well as reminding us that if you want to be loved then be that love.


Rest in Pride Maestro!

"It's a daunting task to try and make the world a better place, but what better have we to do with our lives?"
- Don Howard

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